It’s All Under Control
by Jennifer Dukes Lee
★★★★★
Awesome life-changing wisdom
Jennifer Dukes Lee has control issues, as do many of us, but in addition to those issues, she’s got a killer sense of humor and wisdom that will change your life. So much of this book hit me where I live and gave me the gentle reminder that even though I do things out of love, I need to accept that I am loved and I don’t have to earn it or prove my love in return. The only deficit of this book is that I found myself also seeing my husband in it, and I wished it wasn’t quite so woman-centric, because I’m probably going to ask him to read it anyway. (We’ll see how some of the topics go over!)
A few quotes – and really, it’s so hard to pick just a few. My book is glowing with yellow highlights.
“…you are not a grape; you do not mature just by existing.”
“I live under the false assumption that if I handle everything, I can shield my beloved people from pain.”
“But even for those of us with good intentions, our caring can cross over into behavior that makes us miserable, anxious, tired—and probably less pleasant to be around. We even find ourselves annoying.”
“I have regretted all the times that my well-meaning “acts of kindness” have made me as pleasant as a rabid porcupine.”
“Martha—Okay. You knew she’d be on the list. But can we just stand in solidarity with Martha for a moment? We would have been right in that kitchen with her. How else are people supposed to eat?”
“Good intentions get the best of us, don’t they? Eve probably didn’t go into her day with a diabolic item on her to-do list. Prune roses. Check. Feed the goofy-looking animals with really long necks. Check. Take stroll with God around lake. Check. Try out new fruit. Check. Usher sin into world. Check.”
“There’s a fine line between unhealthy control and healthy control, and that line is drawn with the pen of good intentions.”
“Consider the mental shift that happens when we focus primarily on Jesus’ love for us instead of our love for Jesus. Rather than working to prove our love, we work because Jesus has already proven his love toward us.”
“If our relationship to Jesus is our defining one, then every decision—big or little—passes through that filter. So instead of saying yes to prove our love and devotion to people or to Jesus, we are allowed to experience the freedom of saying no, based on the fact that we have nothing to prove. We already are beloved.”
“It’s hard to know when to hold tight to what we love and when to let it go. So I pray, “Give us the wisdom today, dear Jesus, to know the difference.”
“We must not confuse our God-given abilities with our God-given assignments.”
“Sometimes “Let go and let God” is bad advice.”
The stories draw word-pictures you can relate to your own life and that you won’t soon forget. I can see Jennifer Dukes Lee in my minds-eye lying flat out in the snow, one boot off, headed for that hay bale with the best intentions to create the best Christmas ever. And that scene, indelibly etched on my mind’s eye, is just one of the many visuals that will remind me of her shared wisdom and hopefully internalize and use everything that I have learned.
Jennifer Dukes Lee has a way with stories, wisdom, and compassion that will help you let go of trying to prove your love or whatever is spurring your need for control and to say “yes” only when it’s appropriate, letting go of wheel enough to let God and others do their part.
I fully intend to buy copies of this book to share with a few AAA-type-personality ladies (really, one “A” just doesn’t cut it for these gals – and myself) who happen to be my best friends. Birds of a feather and all that…
Highly recommended as a life-changing read.
I received this book as a digital Advanced Reader Copy (ARC) from the publisher through NetGalley. My opinions are my own.
Book description
It’s time to get our control under control.
Jennifer Dukes Lee never thought she struggled with control. As long as everything went exactly the way she wanted it to, she was totally flexible.
But then Jennifer discovered what happens when you try to wrap your arms around everything, thinking it’s all on you: You get burned out on hustle. You toss and turn more at night, and you laugh less during the day. You’re so busy―caring, serving, working, and trying so hard―that you can’t even hear God’s voice anymore.
It’s All Under Control is a book for every woman who is hanging on tight and trying to get each day right―yet finding that life often feels out of control and chaotic. Join Jennifer on the journey of learning how to:
- Overcome the anxieties and worries that burden your heart
- Prioritize your busy life so you can make choices that align with God’s best for you
- Find freedom through a new “Do, Delegate, or Dismiss” approach to your daily tasks
- Let go of what God has not asked you to do, so you can shine at what he has
Discover a new way of living that will free you to be you, and finally experience the peace of knowing a God who truly has it all under control.
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